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Are you looking to confess your sins? Need a second opinion? Maybe you should consult a doctor or priest.

Do you have a burning question? Need a cat's perspective on life, universe or relationships? Send your inquries to askzelda@nil8r.net


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Feb. 3rd, 2030 @ 12:06 am Find me on Catster
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
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Click here to see my Catster page
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Feb. 3rd, 2009 @ 12:19 am Silly human, sleep is for kitteh
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
You would think by now that my human companion would get the hint that when I'm curled up in a little bawl, paws covering my eyes (which are closed, btw) and ignoring her, it means I'm asleep.

Worry not my precious. I will have my revenge. The internet has lots of ideas...

http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2008/10/09
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Aug. 31st, 2007 @ 02:05 pm Bored. Now.
Current Mood: boredbored
I need to convince my humans to buy me a new toy. First, I must find a way of defeating the window screens. It's so much fun watching them twitch.
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Dec. 24th, 2006 @ 11:11 am August 2006


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Dec. 24th, 2006 @ 10:49 am Happy Holidays
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Dec. 1st, 2006 @ 03:31 pm I hate snow or destroy all humans?
Current Mood: angryangry
Hmmfph... silly humans think it is cute to throw a leash and harness around me and force me outside in the white, icy stuff. Do I enjoy baths? No. Do I want to be squirted with water? No. Why would setting my delicate paws on the cold, frozen water be any different? I demanded tribute for this act of humiliation... the benito flakes would do.

Many feedings have passed since the day we took claim to a new territory. This one has wooden floors and more space to play with my toys. I have many hiding spots and windows to perch upon. I approve. I do not appreciate this constant re-arranging of things in the living room. It's disruptive.
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Sep. 5th, 2006 @ 11:42 pm (no subject)
Today I saw new pictures of my dad. He seems to be enjoying life now that he stopped creating brothers and sisters. My former human pet is busy with school. My adopted human pet is busy with school. Why are those warm lap boxes more important than me?

Why does she care about the !Kung? How do you pronounce the ! anyway? It's kind of a click-sound. My human needs to turn off that boring class lecture and find my feather toy.
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Jan. 26th, 2006 @ 03:04 pm Bad Luck?
Current Mood: apatheticapathetic
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Friday the 13th was an unlucky day. I can't remember what brought it on but the smell of my usual lobster dish just didn't sound very tasty. My human feeder didn't even notice that the crunchies were left untouched.


EDIT: apparently she did notice, now she won't stop staring at me anytime I head towards the kitchen.
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Jan. 3rd, 2006 @ 12:53 pm Ask Zelda #2
Current Mood: crankycranky
Current Music: Stray Cat Strut
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Zelda the wise,

I'm a grey cat with a wedge-shaped head, far-set ears and green eyes. The local pet adoption agency listed me as a Russian Blue. We look alike. Is this true? Could we be related?

--Curious in captivity



Dear Curious,


Four words for you (and in my best Velikorusskij dialect)

Where. Are. Your. Papers?



Meanwhile, go read this article.


Supremely Yours,


Zelda
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Oct. 13th, 2005 @ 12:48 pm Ask Zelda
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: Touch of Grey
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Dear Zelda,

How can I be certain my cat likes me? I feed Muffin three times a day, provide her weekly grooming maintainance, cat nip, scratching posts, nightly play time, cat toys, treats, and yet she just ignores me when I call. What am I doing wrong? Why doesn't she love me?

Please Help!


--Lost in cat translation



Dear Lost,


Ok, I'm going out on a limb here and suggesting that she hates her name. Do you know what the name means? Did you bother to Google the origin? "Muffin" is a bakery item, not the name you give something as sublime as a feline.


If you really want to know what your cat thinks? Check out what she had to say-- your cat hates you!


Surreptitiously,

Zelda
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